“Dedicated to the person I was six years ago. I told you to keep going. Thanks for listening”
– Lilly Singh
Let me introduce you to the quintessential queen of desi NRIs, making it big with a host of hats adorned by her. Not only has Lilly Singh made it big as a YouTube star but also has successfully run various digital campaigns supporting social causes and also is the proud mamma of one of the most entertaining and inspiring books I have had the pleasure of reading recently.
“How to be a bawse” is a step by step guide in making more focused and healthy life decisions – right from the professional to personal space. She talks about a host of real-life problems that most people, irrespective of their age, will find relatable. The book is nothing short of a Bible for most people looking to win in life. Her writing style is quirky, engaging, and most importantly insightful. However, in the spirit of keeping this blog relevant and well within the acceptable word limit, I will be focusing on the professional side of things.
So, are you ready for life lessons from a depression survivor who stands tall with a list of 14 MILLION followers online?
Master Your Mind
This section urges us to exercise control over our own thoughts. She starts by asking us to look at our lives and the constant challenges we face as a part of a video game.
With every passing day, we learn to deal with new situations and thus, in a way, are leveling up. And, just like in a video game, the only way to level up is to face obstacles, conquer (or avoid) enemies.
The way to translate this analogy in our daily life is to realize the futility of wanting to mold situations as per our own convenience. Instead, what we need to do is prepare ourselves right. Instead of trying to control people and situations around us, what we need to do is control our own reaction towards them. Another thing to keep in mind is to be fully prepared for a situation we know we can’t avoid.
The next step in mindful living is to take control of your own thoughts. We often believe that our thoughts are beyond our control, but with just the right amount of discipline and will, we can take control of the quality of our thoughts and in the process, take true control over our actions and life. She shares a couple of hilarious anecdotes from her own personal life as examples.
She further reveals four “Cheat Codes” that have helped her understand and handle life situations better. They go as follows:
- When people do or say hurtful things, there’s a good chance they are upset about something else is life. Thus, instead of taking everything personally and letting it affect your mood, it is better if you learn to let things go.
- Often, other people’s opinions tend to affect our own. Thus, when about to face a situation where a host of opinions will be presented in a convincing manner, it is important to strongly hold your ground.
- Happiness is always stronger than fear. Thus, no matter how scary your dream might look like, pursue them. The journey might seem scary at first, but eventually, the happiness you experience will be worth it.
- Refrain from reacting to every situation. Save your energy and efforts for things that truly require your focus.
Be The Mother Of Dragons!
The importance of selective secrecy.
Yes, you read that right. Regardless of how you feel about the latest season of Game Of Thrones (I won’t lie, it was a tad bit disappointing), there is no denying the global impact of the show.
In this book, however, the writer is not debating the quality of the latest season (mainly because the book came out before the show’s final season) The writer actually uses the character of Daenerys Targaryen – the first of her name, the breaker of chains, and the mother of dragons – to explain the importance of selective secrecy in our lives.
Now, most of us feel the need to share as much as we can about ourselves with people we feel comfortable around. As wonderful as this feels, it is also important to know exactly where to draw the line. Sharing everything with even the closest person to you can backfire.
Daenerys is shown as this quiet, weak character till one day she walks into the fire with dragon eggs and comes out on the other side with three dragon babies. However, as fantastical as this scene was, what most people missed out on was a simple fact that she was aware of her power, from the very beginning. Throughout the show, there have been numerable instances where she silently tested and confirmed her ability to withstand fire because of the dragon blood running through her veins.
But, she never, once reveals it to any of her closest allies – including her brother or even her husband. She did so because she understood the possibly fatalistic implications of revealing such a crucial piece of information before the time was right. Such cautious moves enabled her to truly utilize her power at the right time and thus, helped her rise to her full potential.
That being said, selective secrecy, does in no way imply that we shouldn’t trust people around us. It is simply being self-aware and working on having boundaries that will help you work to reach your full potential.
This becomes even more important in a professional space where you are required to constantly prove yourself. Becoming overzealous and in the process of trying to impress our colleagues and proving our worth, we tend to push ourselves to a point where we are no longer able to deliver on all our promises. Being innovative and taking initiatives is one thing, however, we should avoid biting more than we can chew.
Another important thing to keep in mind is revealing too much about your skill set can allow others to either exploit all you have to offer. What’s important is that you work in silence and let your work do all the talking. At the end of the day, you will eventually be judged on the basis of the quality of your work and not your words, especially if they do not match.
Like what the book has to offer? Stay tuned for the second part of the review of this gem of a book!