It was just a Monday morning rush at the Delhi airport. I had never thought that waiting in a security check queue could be so much fun and full of learning. You’d have to pay extra attention just to see the floor through the ocean of travelers. A long queue like that is the perfect place to test anyone’s patience.
While I stood there observing people, I spotted a well-known business leader a few lines away. I had just read his interview in a respected leadership column the previous week. Calm, composed, and inspirational – that’s how he was described. But in real time, I witnessed something different.
Just as he was standing in line, someone jumped the queue, and this corporate icon suddenly lost his temper. A moment ago, a man who appeared to be level-headed became touchy, speaking aloud with a person who broke the line in front of him. Everything and everyone around him became a trigger. It seemed like flipping a switch. Therefore, I asked myself at that moment, “What just ticked him off so easily?” Was it merely the queue-jumper, or did it represent something deeper and simmering?
This got me thinking about: What ticks us off? And more importantly, what can we do about it?
The Hidden Triggers Behind Our Anger
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Every day, most of us get ticked off at least once. A rude email, an unresponsive colleague, an overbearing boss or maybe missing a deadline. So here’s the twist: anger is hardly ever about just one instant – it’s usually triggered by something more profound.
Below are some common culprits:
Hurt: Being ignored, undervalued or dismissed can hurt emotionally. It feels like small paper cuts on our soul that burn when you least expect them to.
Injustice: Humans have a sense of fairness which is innate in them. When we are let down or others do not fulfill their responsibilities, this makes us offended.
Fear: Especially in the corporate world, threats to our job security, recognition, or career growth can quickly escalate into frustration.
Understanding these triggers is the first step to responding better.
Why Can’t We Just Let It Go?
We often ask ourselves, “Why do I keep stewing over that rude comment in yesterday’s meeting?” Well, because it felt personal. And sometimes, our mind latches onto perceived slights as a form of self-defense.
However, by maintaining grudges, we harm ourselves more than any other person. According to research, individuals who nurture anger experience higher stress levels, poor health conditions and reduced mental wellness. These ideas are clearly highlighted in the American Psychological Association report.
“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.” – Nelson Mandela
Why is it so hard to let go?
Actually, sometimes, if we are candid with ourselves, it simply feels good just to feel superior. Being the one who was “righted” allows us the moral high ground. However, this high ground can turn out to be a lonely and bitter hill.
Emotional Agility: The New-Age Workplace Skill
Harvard psychologist Susan David talks about emotional agility – the ability to navigate our emotions without being controlled by them. For us professionals, this is gold. In a fast-paced corporate environment, your ability to stay centered when things go sideways is what sets resilient teams and leaders apart.
Here’s where this lesson loops back to corporate learning and development:
Triggered leaders lead reactive teams. If a manager is easily ticked off, the team mirrors that energy.
Emotionally agile employees handle pressure better, engage in healthier conflict, and bounce back from failures faster.
Building a culture that embraces emotional intelligence over raw IQ can transform team dynamics.
So next time something ticks you off, ask yourself:
- What’s really behind this reaction?
- Is it worth the emotional rent it’s charging?
- Can I respond instead of reacting?
ALSO READ: 10 Mental Blocks To Watch Out For!
How to Become Bigger Than Your Problems
I once heard a brilliant analogy by T. Harv Eker. He said, “If you have a size 5 problem and you’re a size 2 person emotionally, the problem feels enormous. But if you grow into a size 10 person, even a size 8 problem feels manageable.”
This changed my perspective forever. It’s not always about shrinking the problem. Sometimes, it is about growing bigger emotionally.
Here’s what helps:
- Mindful pauses: Take a deep breath before reacting. This gives your rational brain time to catch up.
- Journaling: Get the emotion out of your head and onto paper.
- Physical movement: Even a brisk walk helps burn off stress hormones.
- Meditation or deep breathing: Calm your nervous system.
- Perspective shifting: Will this matter in a week, month, or year?
- Empathy training: Teach teams to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. Often, the offender isn’t even aware of the impact they made.
What This Means for You
As someone involved in learning and development, I see firsthand how unmanaged emotions ripple through a workplace. One unresolved conflict. One unaddressed grudge. One unregulated temper. They fester and infect entire teams.
But we also have an opportunity.
Through coaching, experiential workshops, and reflective practices, we can build cultures where:
- Self-awareness is celebrated
- Emotional literacy is taught
- Feedback is welcomed, not feared
- Forgiveness and letting go are considered strengths, not weaknesses
Your job isn’t just to help people upskill on tech or strategy. It’s to help them upskill on being better human beings at work.
ALSO READ: How Mandala Art Can Help Improve Employee Mental Health and Well-being
The Final Takeaway: Growth Starts with Awareness
Getting ticked off is human. But staying ticked off? That is a choice.
When we react to small triggers, we often operate from ego, not awareness. But as we build emotional agility, we stop being ruled by our impulses and start leading from intention.
In the queue at the airport that day, I watched a corporate icon behave like a toddler. And I also watched a janitor, cleaning up a mess quietly, get yelled at; but simply nod and continue working with a calm smile.
One was a leader by title. The other, a leader by action.
So, the next time something ticks you off at work, pause. Reflect. Choose.
You will find that in that pause lies the true power of leadership.
