How To Give Effective Feedback?

Organizations that grow the fastest and retain the best talent are those that have a strong feedback culture.

Feedback isn’t just a performance tool. It’s a trust-building exercise. It’s a coaching moment. It’s a way of saying, “I care enough to help you grow.” And yet, so many people struggle with it. Why?

In our experience, feedback goes wrong either because it’s delivered poorly, received defensively, or both. We’ve facilitated numerous leadership programs, and the topic of “How to give feedback” always sparks conversation, reflection, and sometimes even discomfort.

But when done right, feedback can be transformational. This is why, for L&D professionals, HR teams, and corporate leaders alike, mastering the art and science of giving feedback is not a luxury – it’s a leadership imperative.

Related Reading: How learning through a self-paced courseenabled leaders to give constructive feedback,driving employee performance

Giving Feedback: Art or Science?

Giving feedback – is that an Art or a Science? Let us leave that argument for the pundits. The bottom line though is that it is one life skill that all of us would do good to understand and master.

I have often been quite amazed, when I have witnessed somebody giving a very strong feedback to a colleague or an acquaintance, and yet the receiver – far from being defensive – receives the feedback in a very positive manner. How does this happen? Does it only depend on the receiver or does the sender play an equally important role in successful feedback sharing?

Years of getting feedback – a lot of it from my wife (sob!) – has taught me that the feedback giver plays a big role in making the receiver open and comfortable, even before he starts giving the actual feedback. At such times, feedback that is given – is gracefully done so – and often helps strengthen the bond with the receiver.

Related Reading: Why Feedback Matters?

5 Nuggets of Wisdom on Feedback (That We Swear By)

1. Clear Intentions

As a person giving feedback, the intention you harbour seeps through to the person receiving the feedback. So, check your intention – is it only to point fingers and put the other person in a tight, uncomfortable spot? Or is your intention to help the other person to do better in life?

Either way, your intention gives a vibe to the receiver – both by verbal cues & through non-verbal (body language) gestures. When a receiver gets the vibe that your feedback is targeted at helping him/her to succeed in life, it makes them so much more receptive to the whole session.

2. Catch the Goodness

People often dread the word “Feedback” because they feel it is always some finger pointing at their perceived faults. No wonder then, that they clam up – wear their defensive suits and pretty much deflect any feedback coming their way. Don’t make this mistake!

Feedback should be as much about the good things you notice, as it is about the areas needing improvement. An old adage shows us the way: Always lather before you shave.

Making mistakes in the quest for improvement, if criticized very strongly, discourages a person from venturing out and trying anything new in future. A better approach always is to first point out ‘what worked’ – and then move on to ‘what could have been better’. The tonality makes all the difference – and gives the receiver the feeling that no part of their effort went unnoticed.

3. Catch Them Young

Yes, there is a perfect day to share your feedback: TODAY. That’s right! Don’t wait for a perfect day or occasion to come when you can share your feedback. Do it as soon as possible.

Just imagine, if I tell you, “Last to last Friday you did…” or I tell you that, “in the meeting TODAY you did…”. Which one of these two has more impact for a positive feedback sharing? Yes, you are right, the one that starts with TODAY!

4. Choose the Right Method

This is the most important point in the entire process. For an effective sharing you must share it through the right method, to ensure that the receiver gets the complete message. Let’s list down the methods from least effective to the most effective:

1. D) Through someone else: This just feels so sly, slimy, negative and wrong. Don’t ever do this in any feedback communication. It might have a negative impact on the relationship and can create doubts on your intention.
2. C) Email / SMS / WhatsApp: A study said that more than 70% of all human communication happens through non-verbal means. Hence, as convenient as technology is – in most cases, an email, SMS or WhatsApp message doesn’t quite reflect the emotions, intentions or the care – as face-to-face communication does.
3. B) Phone call: Though calling is a much better option than the two above, but it is certainly not the best method for an effective delivery. Yes, the person can hear you but don’t forget that the words can be misleading if delivered without the right emotional connect.
4. A) In Person: This is the most appropriate method to deliver your feedback. Especially for two reasons:

1. When two people are face-to-face and give out the desired vibes, there is an additional connection that takes place that helps in impactful message delivery.
2. You can catch the direct/indirect signals coming from the receiver if he isn’t clear or convinced about any part of the feedback, giving you a real-time opportunity to explain your point better.

5. Model the Way

In the Negotiation workshops that we run, based on the Harvard Negotiation Project, we often mention that one of the best negotiation mantras is to separate the problem and the person. The same holds when we give Feedback. Separate the person and the problem – so that the person can change the behaviour to correct future events.

Also when you do this, you as the person giving the feedback are making it clear that the problem is not with the person or their intentions. If they change their behaviors, they can change their results.

Bringing It All Together: Feedback in the Modern Workplace

In our leadership interventions, we often ask: “When was the last time you received meaningful feedback at work?” The answers are often mixed. While many remember the positive feedback they received years ago, very few can recall a recent, constructive conversation that helped them grow.

We believe the role of feedback in professional development is massively underrated. And especially in today’s fast-paced, hybrid workplaces, the ability to give timely, actionable, and compassionate feedback is what distinguishes great managers from good ones.

From a learning and development point of view, creating feedback-rich cultures is the bedrock of continuous learning. It reduces attrition, improves employee engagement, and boosts innovation. When people know that their efforts are being recognized – and that mistakes are seen as stepping stones, not roadblocks – they contribute more, share more, and grow more.

So the next time you hesitate to give feedback, remember this: every piece of feedback is an opportunity to build someone up. Use it well.

Go ahead – try these steps and let us know how it goes. And if you’re designing a leadership program or coaching intervention, we hope this post gives you a few cues to integrate feedback more intentionally into your culture.

Related Reading: Why Positive Reinforcement Works In Improving Performance?