I can still picture the room. I was a relatively junior analyst, sitting in a high-stakes meeting with our entire senior leadership team. They were discussing a major strategic decision based on a report I had helped prepare. As I listened, I realized there was a critical flaw in their interpretation of the data, a flaw that could lead to a disastrous outcome. My heart started pounding. My palms grew sweaty. I knew I should speak up. I knew I had the information that could change the course of the conversation.
But I stayed silent. The fear was paralyzing. Fear of looking stupid. Fear of contradicting a senior executive. Fear of being wrong. Fear of drawing attention to myself. So I sat there, mute, as the meeting moved towards a decision I knew was based on a faulty premise.
Weeks later, when the negative consequences I had foreseen inevitably came to pass, my boss pulled me aside. “Did you see this coming?” he asked. I admitted I had, but had been too afraid to speak up. His response was quiet but devastating: “Your job is not just to do the analysis. Your job is to have the courage to bring it forward. If you cannot do that, you are not ready for the next level.”
He was right. My fear was not just holding me back; it was actively hurting my career and my team. That painful moment was the catalyst I needed. I realized I had a choice. I could continue to let fear dictate my actions, or I could learn how to challenge it.
The Surprising Truth: Fear is Normal. Staying Stuck is Optional.
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The first and most important thing I learned is that fear is not the enemy. Fear is a normal, natural, and even necessary human emotion. It is a signal from our brain designed to protect us from danger. The problem is not the feeling of fear; the problem is when that feeling paralyzes us and prevents us from taking actions that are important for our growth and success.
You will never completely eliminate fear, especially when you are pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. The goal is not to become fearless. The goal is to learn how to feel the fear and act anyway. The goal is to build courage. And courage, I discovered, is not an innate trait; it is a skill you can practice.
A 4-Step Playbook for Challenging Your Workplace Fears
Whether your fear is public speaking, giving difficult feedback, negotiating a raise, or taking on a challenging project, the process for challenging it is remarkably consistent.
Step 1: Name Your Fear (Get Specific, Not Vague) Fear thrives in the shadows. Vague anxieties like “I’m worried about the presentation” are hard to tackle. You must drag the fear into the light and name it specifically.
- Instead of: “I’m afraid of presenting to the leadership team.”
- Try: “I am afraid that when I present to the leadership team, they will ask me a question I cannot answer, and I will look incompetent.”
This specificity is crucial. It turns a large, amorphous monster into a smaller, more defined problem that you can actually start to address. What, exactly, are you afraid will happen?
Step 2: Reframe Your Story (Challenge the Underlying Belief) Once you have named the specific fear, you can examine the underlying belief that is fueling it. Often, our fears are based on exaggerated or distorted stories we tell ourselves. The goal of reframing is to challenge that story with a more realistic and empowering alternative.
- The Fear Story: “If I cannot answer a question, they will think I am incompetent and my career will be over.”
- Challenge it: “Is that 100% true? Has anyone ever been fired for not knowing one answer? Is it possible they might see it as an opportunity for me to follow up and demonstrate my resourcefulness?”
- The New Story: “It is okay not to have every answer. It is more important to be honest and resourceful. If I get a tough question, I can confidently say, ‘That’s a great question, I do not have that specific data point right now, but I will follow up with you this afternoon.’”
This cognitive reframing does not make the fear disappear, but it significantly reduces its power.
Also read: 10 Common Cognitive Biases & How to Overcome Them
Step 3: Shrink the Stakes (Make the First Step Tiny) We often try to conquer our biggest fears in one giant leap. This is overwhelming and sets us up for failure. The key is to break the challenge down into incredibly small, manageable steps. You want to engineer an “early win” to build momentum.
- If your fear is public speaking: Do not start by volunteering for the keynote. Start by committing to ask one question in the next team meeting. Then, commit to making one comment. Then, volunteer to present just one slide.
- If your fear is giving feedback: Do not start with your most difficult employee. Start by giving positive feedback to someone. Then, practice giving small, constructive feedback on a low-stakes issue.
By shrinking the first step, you make the fear manageable. You create an opportunity to practice courage in a relatively safe environment.
Step 4: Do It Scared (Practice Courage, Not Fearlessness) This is the moment of truth. You have named the fear, reframed the story, and identified a small first step. Now, you have to act. You will likely still feel the fear. Your heart might pound. Your palms might sweat. Do it anyway.
This is the essence of building courage. Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the judgment that something else is more important than fear. Each time you act despite the fear, you are building the “courage muscle.” You are proving to yourself that you can survive the discomfort. The fear may never completely go away, but your willingness to act in its presence will grow stronger.
The Leader’s Role: Creating a Culture Where Courage Can Grow
As leaders, we have a profound impact on whether our team members feel safe enough to challenge their fears. A culture of high psychological safety is the ultimate incubator for courage.
- Model Vulnerability: Share your own fears and uncertainties. When your team sees that you are human, it gives them permission to be human too.
- Decriminalize Mistakes: If people are punished for trying something new and failing, they will stop trying. Frame setbacks as learning opportunities.
- Celebrate Courageous Acts: When you see a team member speak up in a tough meeting or take on a challenging assignment, publicly acknowledge their courage, regardless of the outcome. What gets rewarded gets repeated.
Also read: How Leaders Can Foster Psychological Safety at Work
Your Fear Does Not Define You
That meeting where I stayed silent was a low point in my career. But my boss’s feedback, while difficult to hear, was a gift. It forced me to confront the reality that my fear was a bigger obstacle than any external challenge I faced.
Learning to challenge my fears was not about becoming a different person. It was about unlocking the potential that was already there, trapped behind a wall of self-doubt. It is an ongoing practice, not a destination. There are still days when I feel the flicker of fear before a big presentation or a difficult conversation. But now, I have a playbook. I know that the fear is just a signal, not a stop sign. And I know that on the other side of that fear lies growth.If you are looking to build a more courageous, resilient, and psychologically safe team, explore FocusU’s workshops on leadership and team effectiveness.
